How to Love Your Current Season of Life When You Wish It was Different

How to Love Your Current Season of Life (When You Wish it Was Different) Click To Tweet

When I was single, I desperately wanted to date someone. After dating awhile, I wanted to be engaged. After several months of being engaged, I just couldn't wait to finally be married. Once I got married, I couldn't wait to get a puppy and I was convinced nothing would make me happier. But now that I have a puppy, I'm already looking forward to when we will have kids.

I recently I remembered how my husband used to love driving around southern Indiana to discover all the little small towns when we were dating. I started thinking about how there was nothing between us that a long drive and good conversation couldn't solve–long periods of time just being present on a journey proved to be the best thing for us. And I think it still is.

Our best conversations and the most healing happens when we're zipping down the highways and over hilltops–just the two of us, sitting together, in the middle of the journey.

I'm quickly realizing the realities of the very thing I've always known but never really believed to be true for myself: it's really not about the destination because the destination will always change.

it's really not about the destination because the destination will always change. Click To Tweet

Why do I tell you? Because I'm in a hurry to get THERE, too. Wherever THERE is.

But where ever you are in life and where ever you're going, things WILL go wrong. Your plans may change 18 times and you might get lost. Things may get delayed and you may get tired and you'll probably cry. When he doesn't know why you're crying, you'll cry more because, well, emotions. You'll find yourself stuck in the silliest arguments. You might check your bank account and wish there was one more zero at the end. You may look in the mirror & wonder where the extra weight came from. Your dreams may feel like they're falling apart and you might lose it a little. making the wrong decision will probably scare the pants off of you. But make a decision and trust anyway, even if your pants do fall off. I mean, who needs pants?

You may be constantly looking ahead, or perhaps you're in a season of waiting and constantly catch yourself looking at someone else's *seemingly* blissful season and wish you could fast forward to that same season of life. We've all been there. 

Look, relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. Singleness is hard. Life is hard. And sometimes we cry. But it's also beautiful–especially the hard parts because those are the transformative parts.  

Life is hard. And sometimes we cry. But it's also beautiful--especially the hard parts because those are the transformative parts Click To Tweet

My friend, Lara Casey, says it so well through her new book, Cultivate, “A flourishing life is possible, no perfection required. In fact, it's in the imperfect–in the dirt–that good things grow.”

it's in the imperfect--in the dirt--that good things grow Click To Tweet

I love that, don't you? We're not going to flourish and become all that God has created us to be if we don't live through every season…even the ones covered in dirt.

It's like we're so eager for the next season because we believe the lie that the next season will bring some added level of completeness or perfection. But with God we're NEVER incomplete, only stretched to grow.

When we're so eager for the next season, we believe the lie that the next season will bring some added level of completeness or perfection. But with God we're NEVER incomplete, only stretched to grow. Click To Tweet

My advice to all my sisters feeling stuck in a tough season or always looking to the next is this:

Maybe we shouldn't try to ‘fix it' so fast. Maybe there isn't anything to fix. Maybe the growth is already in motion and we shouldn't force it. Maybe we shouldn't speed through the hard parts because maybe those are where the healing happens. the healing of our pride, our stubbornness, and our division. It's not about getting THERE, to the next place. It's about being HERE, loving and being loved. Because unity happens on the journey. Growth happens on the journey.

How To Be Content and Love Your Current Season of Life When You Wish It Was Different

So, here's what to do next time you catch yourself wishing away your today (no matter how crappy it may feel):

  1. Identify your default emotion when you feel stuck in a hard season. Is it anger? Comparison? Frustration? Something else?
  2. Replace that emotion with gratitude instead. Even in the hardest, loneliest, and longest seasons, determine something you can be grateful for inside of it…a lesson, a challenge, new growth, stillness, etc.
  3. Start looking at the joys of your journey instead of the disappointment of not reaching your ideal destination.
  4. Stop looking at her today and wishing yours away. Take comfort in this: At least you have today. And today, this very breath, is a privilege.
Stop looking at her today and wishing yours away. At least you have today. Click To Tweet

xx,

J

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Jordan Lee

Author: Jordan Lee

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34 thoughts on “How to Love Your Current Season of Life (When You Wish it Was Different)

  1. Thank you, Jordan. This year has been the hardest year emotionally.

    Posted on June 27, 2017 at 3:49 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      I hear ya girl, I can totally relate. Thanks for residing and for sharing your heart.

      Posted on June 27, 2017 at 9:08 pm
  2. Jordan. I’m sobbing. I’m a 26 year old mother and pastors wife and we’ve been in a season of waiting for over a year. And this, man. Thank you. Thank you Jesus for giving Jordan these words so you could speak to me.

    Posted on June 27, 2017 at 5:05 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      Lauren, I can relate so much. I felt like I was writing this to my own heart. Thanks for sharing and for reading! Xo

      Posted on June 27, 2017 at 5:31 pm
  3. Love all of this!!!!!!! Needed to read this so thankful how God uses you Jordan:)

    Posted on June 27, 2017 at 5:29 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      So glad to hear! Thank you for reading!

      Posted on June 27, 2017 at 5:31 pm
  4. I so needed to read this right now. I’ve spent the last three months on bedrest with complications from my pregnancy. The days drag on and I have to have a caretaker because I pass out and have seizures every time I stand up. It’s been much easier to be frustrated than thankful. So thank you for the reminder that this too is a season of growth and this too shall pass.

    Posted on June 27, 2017 at 7:12 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      Hi Alexis! Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you girl. How frustrating but also how beautiful to see how God encouraged you in the middle of an ordinary day with this! I pray for patience and peace in your heart during this recovery.

      Posted on June 27, 2017 at 9:08 pm
  5. I needed this so much, Jordan. I’m 19 about to start my junior year in college and my boyfriend of a year and a half who was about to propose in the next six months broke up with me while I was on a mission trip in Africa. I feel like so much of this season is waiting and anticipating with lots of hope–but just a fear that nothing will come out of it. It is nice to hear that even someone walking through marriage sometimes feels inadequate/messy/empty. Thank you for being vulnerable.
    All my love.

    Posted on June 27, 2017 at 7:55 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      Girl! I can imagine the pain your heart is feeling but I’m so confident God is going to use this season to mold you even more into the woman He is designing you to be! Praying for your healing and thank you for sharing. ❤️

      Posted on June 27, 2017 at 9:06 pm
  6. So well written and so needed! Life is so hard, thank you for being an encouragement.

    Posted on June 28, 2017 at 5:24 am
  7. JORDAN, THIS IS SO GOOD. Ah, thank you for writing this. This is encouraging and truth is ringing in my ears. Embracing the process and His Presence is always more fulfilling than rushing ahead or trying to figure out everything you can do to get to the next thing.

    Posted on June 29, 2017 at 3:53 pm
  8. Thanks, Jordan, for this post! I have read it twice now since you posted it. My heart needed this! I can get so caught up in the next season that I’m not enjoying this season right now. God has given me so much to do in this season, so why should I look ahead to the other one? I definitely needed to read this again. And probably again…

    Posted on July 6, 2017 at 11:36 pm
  9. Hi Jordan!
    I just finished reading this article, and to say that I desperately needed to read these words of wisdom is a bit of an understatement. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the victim of comparing myself with my friends and family that are farther ahead of me in everything to the point that the pain and loneliness would eat at me until it all manifested into bitterness & pride. I used to compare myself with others on almost everything; from them having successful careers, to their recently getting married, even to their gorgeous appearances, whilst I remain stuck in ‘single-hood’ since 2012, am just now starting my education at 26 years old (rather than at 19 like most of my classmates), and still looks like a hot mess even on a good day. But after reading this blog article, I have come to realize that; a) I am worth something because I was made and loved by a Creator who adores me, b) He is in control so I don’t have to worry about what is to come, and finally c) not everyones life is picture perfect so I shouldn’t have to set them (and myself) up on such high standards. I am ashamed to admit that it has taken me a long time to realize this, but I am very thankful that I at least have recognized my sinful thoughts/behaviors now rather than later, and that I have time to change my ways.

    Thank you so much for posting this, for being a blessing, and for the encouragement too!

    Posted on July 7, 2017 at 12:34 am
  10. Thank you so much for your words! I’m 25 and have been divorced for 6 years. God has protected me from so much and in these last 6 years I’ve grown in Him more and more. I know this season of waiting is allowing me to become more dependent on Him alone and I am so thankful for that. At the same time I am more than ready to find a man who is completely in love with the Lord and get married and start a family. It’s hard to not get discouraged, but I’m trusting in His timing. Your words definitely help!

    Posted on July 8, 2017 at 7:47 pm
  11. Thank you so much. This was everything I needed to hear. I’m about to be doing the distance thing with my boyfriend of 2 years. Feels like I’m constantly waiting and trying to find things to do until he comes back but I need to be seeing this as a season of growth. Contentment has always been a struggle for me.

    Posted on July 8, 2017 at 11:10 pm
  12. Thanks for sharing! Good to know I am not the only one who struggles with this. Having a hard time watching all my friends get married and have kids while none of that seems to be in the near future for me. This article was very encouraging!!

    Posted on July 10, 2017 at 11:28 am
  13. Everything about this was spot on! You have such an amazing way of explaining things through your words. Needed every bit of this tonight. Thanks Jordan.

    Posted on July 11, 2017 at 12:29 am
  14. I am so guilty of this, when this year started I had this feeling that it wasn’t not going to be my year. I had believed this until last month when I prayed and prayed and others close to me prayed. God showed me that this is my year of learning, its going to be the hardest especially with all the change thats going to happen. I’m getting married next month and I’m moving away from home, I am so ready for it all but at the same time I wasn’t because I kept comparing everything to what everyone else has. Your blog just helped me realize that its not about where you’re at, its about what He is preparing you to do and go.

    Posted on July 11, 2017 at 12:15 pm
  15. I am so guilty of this, when this year started I had this feeling that it wasn’t not going to be my year. I had believed this until last month when I prayed and prayed and others close to me prayed. God showed me that this is my year of learning, its going to be the hardest especially with all the change thats going to happen. I’m getting married next month and I’m moving away from home, I am so ready for it all but at the same time I wasn’t because I kept comparing everything to what everyone else has. Your blog just helped me realize that its not about where you’re at, its about what He is preparing you to do and go. xx

    Posted on July 11, 2017 at 12:17 pm
  16. Thank you Jordan. I stumbled across your Facebook page when seeing a post about relationship a while ago, but didn’t keep up with it; until yesterday.. I guess when I needed it the most. And now again when I am not feeling at my best. I am going through a season where I feel stuck, and to be honest it’s not that bad I just feel I am not where I want to be in my career and other parts of my life. I have had that feeling you described in your article for too long. I just need to stop struggling and find a way to love my current season. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

    Posted on July 11, 2017 at 9:38 pm
    1. Hey girl. Thank you for writing this comment. I’m a few months late to reply but I wanted to anyway because what you were describing back in July is exactly how I feel today – unfulfilled in my career and many other parts of my life.. I hope that things are better for you today (and with our God I’m certain it should be!) I’m praying for you 🙂

      Posted on April 28, 2018 at 9:41 pm
  17. I so needed this today…..

    Posted on July 17, 2017 at 10:19 am
  18. This is wonderful. It’s so hard to remember to trust God when you’re rushing through life for the “next thing”. Thank you for this!

    Posted on July 22, 2017 at 12:32 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      Thanks, Danielle!

      Posted on July 23, 2017 at 9:24 pm
  19. thank you so, so much for this. This was an answer to a pray I honestly prayed last night of “why do I feel like this and how much longer until it is over?” Your blog is a total blessing.

    Posted on July 22, 2017 at 1:51 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      Thanks so much, Jalyn! I’m so encouraged to hear that!

      Posted on July 23, 2017 at 9:20 pm
  20. Personally I have struggled with my season of “waiting” for a year now. I’ve recently graduated high school in 2016, this is my second year of community college. My plans were to end up at a four year school, in high school I was even in an early college program. I kept praying to God my last years of high school that he would show me the light on what my career was supposed to be but I couldn’t ever find it. I had been dancing pre professional ballet for 10 years but physically I couldn’t continue due to injuries. My heart was so broken that I was so lost. My boyfriend of a long time now is at his last year in college and I’m constantly comparing my life to his, I go and see him all of the time but truly in the back of my mind I get frustrated. Recently I found what I wanted to do and I’ve got accepted somewhere locally. What you’ve written here is the only thing that has shed light on my darkness of comparing, I’m so grateful to have found this.

    Posted on August 21, 2017 at 7:34 pm
  21. Hey Jordan.

    Thank you so, so much for following God’s call on your life. I have been following your blog for a while and you have blessed me so much. I have been struggling with the exact same thing in the first line of this post. The Lord definitely overwhelmed my heart with his words tonight through you and I thank you so, so much! You keep doing what you’re doing and keep following the Lord!

    X, J

    Posted on November 17, 2017 at 7:07 pm
  22. Jordan,
    Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. My heart desperately desires to meet my future husband and walk through life with him. Having been in two serious relationships throughout college,that both ended in break ups, I have never so earnestly wanted to be in a different part of my life. My mind has been so quick to dwell on my desires instead of praying through the present. This time of singleness has been lonely and feels utterly hopeless at times. Thank you for reminding me of the purpose God has in growing us as followers of Him.

    Posted on December 10, 2017 at 10:38 pm
  23. Jordan,
    I absolutely needed this post. I’ve been in a season where I feel like happiness looks a lot like getting to “this place” or “that place.” However, I’m realizing more and more how important contentment is. Contentment and finding joy where we’re at makes the difference; it helps us to value what’s important.
    Thank you for sharing!
    xx

    Posted on April 24, 2018 at 11:45 am
  24. This is so great! I’m currently struggling to find contentment in my season of singleness, but I loved what you said. It’s not really about the destination because the destination will always change. That’s so true! It’s about the journey. It’s hard, but learning to enjoy where I am now and finding contentment in God where I am now is what it’s all about. If I can’t be content now I’ll never be content in a relationship, I’ll never be content with kids, my dream house, my ideal career, etc. Thanks so much for sharing, Jordan!

    Posted on June 28, 2017 at 1:22 pm
  25. Thank you for speaking truth into the struggles we all face and for offering joy in midst of heartache. I’m so thankful for the wisdom you shared. I needed to hear this and your post is exactly what God has been whispering to my soul. You blessed me!

    Posted on June 28, 2017 at 8:37 pm