How to Love Your Current Season of Life (When You Wish it Was Different) Click To Tweet
When I was single, I desperately wanted to date someone. After dating awhile, I wanted to be engaged. After several months of being engaged, I just couldn't wait to finally be married. Once I got married, I couldn't wait to get a puppy and I was convinced nothing would make me happier. But now that I have a puppy, I'm already looking forward to when we will have kids.
I recently I remembered how my husband used to love driving around southern Indiana to discover all the little small towns when we were dating. I started thinking about how there was nothing between us that a long drive and good conversation couldn't solve–long periods of time just being present on a journey proved to be the best thing for us. And I think it still is.
Our best conversations and the most healing happens when we're zipping down the highways and over hilltops–just the two of us, sitting together, in the middle of the journey.
I'm quickly realizing the realities of the very thing I've always known but never really believed to be true for myself: it's really not about the destination because the destination will always change.it's really not about the destination because the destination will always change. Click To Tweet
Why do I tell you? Because I'm in a hurry to get THERE, too. Wherever THERE is.
But where ever you are in life and where ever you're going, things WILL go wrong. Your plans may change 18 times and you might get lost. Things may get delayed and you may get tired and you'll probably cry. When he doesn't know why you're crying, you'll cry more because, well, emotions. You'll find yourself stuck in the silliest arguments. You might check your bank account and wish there was one more zero at the end. You may look in the mirror & wonder where the extra weight came from. Your dreams may feel like they're falling apart and you might lose it a little. making the wrong decision will probably scare the pants off of you. But make a decision and trust anyway, even if your pants do fall off. I mean, who needs pants?
You may be constantly looking ahead, or perhaps you're in a season of waiting and constantly catch yourself looking at someone else's *seemingly* blissful season and wish you could fast forward to that same season of life. We've all been there.
Look, relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. Singleness is hard. Life is hard. And sometimes we cry. But it's also beautiful–especially the hard parts because those are the transformative parts.Life is hard. And sometimes we cry. But it's also beautiful--especially the hard parts because those are the transformative parts Click To Tweet it's in the imperfect--in the dirt--that good things grow Click To Tweet
I love that, don't you? We're not going to flourish and become all that God has created us to be if we don't live through every season…even the ones covered in dirt.
It's like we're so eager for the next season because we believe the lie that the next season will bring some added level of completeness or perfection. But with God we're NEVER incomplete, only stretched to grow.When we're so eager for the next season, we believe the lie that the next season will bring some added level of completeness or perfection. But with God we're NEVER incomplete, only stretched to grow. Click To Tweet
My advice to all my sisters feeling stuck in a tough season or always looking to the next is this:
Maybe we shouldn't try to ‘fix it' so fast. Maybe there isn't anything to fix. Maybe the growth is already in motion and we shouldn't force it. Maybe we shouldn't speed through the hard parts because maybe those are where the healing happens. the healing of our pride, our stubbornness, and our division. It's not about getting THERE, to the next place. It's about being HERE, loving and being loved. Because unity happens on the journey. Growth happens on the journey.
So, here's what to do next time you catch yourself wishing away your today (no matter how crappy it may feel):
- Identify your default emotion when you feel stuck in a hard season. Is it anger? Comparison? Frustration? Something else?
- Replace that emotion with gratitude instead. Even in the hardest, loneliest, and longest seasons, determine something you can be grateful for inside of it…a lesson, a challenge, new growth, stillness, etc.
- Start looking at the joys of your journey instead of the disappointment of not reaching your ideal destination.
- Stop looking at her today and wishing yours away. Take comfort in this: At least you have today. And today, this very breath, is a privilege.