Tell me if this sounds familiar:

You believe in God. Grew up going to church. Even have a personal relationship with Jesus. I mean, it's a little off and on, but it exists. Maybe you even go to Bible study now and then. But then your fun friends call. There's a party going on and you just have to be there.

You hesitate for a minute but with a little help from your friends, you ignore any concerns you had and live it up, down another drink, dance with the cute guy, and order pizza when you get home at 2 am. Any time you feel wrong about something, you think to yourself, it's no big deal, you're only young once…right?! But the next morning you wake up feeling a little bit guilty and further from God than you did yesterday afternoon.

It's a pretty sticky situation, isn't it? You enjoy the party scene but for some reason something nags at your heart and a little tinge of guilt hits you with your hangover the next morning.

I hear your heart. You don't want to be uptight but you also don't want to live a double life.

And the question becomes, “Can I be a Christian and party?”

Can Christian Girls Party?

You know, it's often assumed that girls who love Jesus are boring and simply don't have fun at all but maybe they're just celebrating something that brings so much more life than partying (and in a different way…no booze required).

Nevertheless, I don't think it's about labeling ourselves as a Party Girl or as a Christian girl and then just hanging out in whichever box our label belongs.

There's so much more to the story because Christianity was never meant to be a label that fits in it's own little box next to all the other little labels we stick on ourselves.

It's a whole identity that's meant to transcend and blow up any other false identity or label the world tries to define us by.

Partying (or the mistakes made when partying) is one of those labels. It was never meant to define anyone nor was it ever meant to be a part of our identity. They aren't even on the same playing field and they shouldn't be labels compared against one another…or labels at all.

One is an identity, the other is a false sense of identity.

There was a point in my life where I felt the same wrestling you may be feeling. I felt like I was trying to be a chameleon…I wanted to fit in with my Christian friends but I also had my other friends…and I wasn't sure how to blend the two so instead I just blended in wherever I was. Yet something inside of me knew there was something upside-down about how I was sitting on the fence.

After some time, I realized: We aren't made to live like chameleons. We aren't made to just blend in, we were made to stand out. As a Christian, you've been given new life but blending in and stepping back into the old ways is tempting.

But when we're focused on blending in, we're essentially trying to fit back into the old way but it's never going to feel quite right because we are not our old self (2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 4:22-24). And we wrestle because we are designed to walk in new life.

We are not meant to party like the world does.

We are not meant to party like the world does. Click To Tweet

This doesn't mean we can't have a social life. But we also need to evaluate our heart, understand our purpose, and look at little closer at what we are really seeking.

So instead of telling you to just sit in your room and read the Bible, I want to take a closer look at the heart of the issue to help you come to the best conclusion for yourself about how to handle the party scene.

Here are a few things  consider to help you come to the best conclusion:

1. Consider what root desire you're trying to fulfill – WHY do you like to party?

Scripture tells us that our heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9) so that means we have to really take a hard look at it instead of overlooking it and saying, “Well, it's not that deep. I just like to have fun and party, so…”

We can convince ourselves that it's as simple as that but it's really not. That's where our heart tends to deceive us.

The truth is, all desires start out as good desires but they can get twisted.

Think about it. Perhaps the root desire for partying is to have relationship and feel like you have community–a good desire in and of itself. BUT that can get twisted into seeking affirmation and approval from the world or compromising our character just to have friends and share a good laugh. Sometimes we settle for a false sense of community instead of seeking true community because it's easier.

Another good desire in and of itself is happiness. Everyone can agree that we all desire joy and happiness. No one likes pain. But it can get twisted when we seek to numb the pain or insecurity we may feel with substances instead of with something of substance. That good desire gets twisted into something destructive when we seek fleeting feelings of being carefree and fun in the circumstances surrounding us instead of standing in true, lasting joy in spite of the circumstances surrounding us.

So my first piece of advice is to look a little harder at WHY you like to party in the first place.

What is the DEEPER ROOT DESIRE you are trying to fulfill or satisfy?

The desire for community? Maybe that's why you're so afraid of what your friends may think if you chose not to party.

The desire for love? Maybe that's why you feel so tempted to dance with guys who give you attention.

The desire for confidence? Maybe that's why you love the instant confidence that you feel after a couple beers.

Hear this: You're not a bad person because you like to party. 

You're not a bad person because you like to party. Click To Tweet

But as a Christian, you aren't called to look like the world, you are called higher. The fact of the matter is that your desires don't define you however they can destroy you. The problem comes when we seek things that only GOD can give FROM partying because ot will will leave you pursuing more and more of a world that can't deliver on it's promises.

Trying to fulfill those root desires through filling up on empty calories just won't cut it. It's a false promise because it promises to give what only God can give. It'll draw you in but doesn't last, which is why you'll feel the desire to keep going back to it to get another hit of the feelings of fun, confidence, or companionship your heart craves.

That's when the enemy will dare you to settle for the lie, “It's not that deep, I just like to party,” when in reality, it's much deeper.

Ask yourself: Am I trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? (Galatians 1:10)

Seeking life FROM partying will leave you pursuing more & more of a world that can't deliver on it's promises Click To Tweet

2. Define PARTY 

Many young people assume that partying means to get drunk or high (or both) with friends.

But it doesn't have to.

To party also means to celebrate, to have fun, and to get together. While I understand that many consider things like drinking to be fun and enjoyable, the fun only lasts a little while, right? It's an enjoyment that wears off (and can quickly turn into misery when a hangover hits). Partying like this is essentially fake fun. It lies. It's empty. It doesn't deliver on it's promises.

A party in its most basic meaning is a celebration of something…when you celebrate something you observe it or honor it. For example, when you celebrate someone's birthday, you are honoring their life. When you celebrate an anniversary, you are honoring or observing love and commitment.

So, now look at it like this: when you party just the sake of partying, do you ever really consider what you're really celebrating? What you're honoring or exalting? If we're being really honest, isn't it simply a way to celebrate our own self…and satisfy our own twisted desires?

A party in and of itself isn't bad. A celebration in and of itself isn't bad. I mean, Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding feast, a celebration! But when it gets twisted to the point where we're celebrating and exalting the wrong thing, our choices can become destructive and partying can be like an idol in our hearts.

So maybe the party itself isn't the problem but partying in the wrong way–in a way that dishonors God–is.

So maybe the party isn't the problem but partying the wrong way is. Click To Tweet

If we shift our perspective to be in constant celebration of JESUS and who we are in Him instead of celebrating ourselves and what others think of us, the desire to ‘party' in the way that brings destruction begins to fade away as our desires become truly fulfilled in Him. We will want to honor Him and exalt Him and that's hard to do if we're slurring our words. A real party celebrates true life and true life doesn't require booze or boys.

Bottom line: God is the creator of all good things worth celebrating–right down to laughter and friends. So, partying in a worldly sense should not be what grants you the freedom to celebrate life, experience joy and have fun. If it is, then you aren't really free at all because that freedom already exists outside of the typical party scene.

 

3. Is it a stumbling block?

The Lord gives us laughter and love and friends that add enjoyment to our lives…but He doesn't want us to draw our joy in life from anything outside of Him. When we misplace our celebration, we misplace our freedom.

When we misplace our celebration, we misplace our freedom. Click To Tweet

If FOMO (fear of missing out) consistently controls your decisions and makes you succumb to peer pressure, you're really never going to experience the freedom of the Lord that you say you believe in.

Because freedom isn't about doing whatever you want. Freedom is when things like partying or drinking don't have control over you–over your joy, your friendships, or your decisions–because you're living for God, not for partying.

So, if  going into the party scene is too tempting of a situation for you, if you're unable to make the separation in your heart and constantly feel like you're spinning on a hamster wheel, then it may be a stumbling block.

If you think you can't stop partying because you're afraid of losing your friends, you're not free at all (and they're probably not very good friends). Your desire to fit in and for the approval of people  has a hold on you (Gal 1:10). That's not freedom. Freedom is being able to leave something, knowing that your identity rests in Christ–not that thing. If you can't leave it, you are a slave to it.

Freedom is being able to leave it. If you can't leave it, you are a slave to it. Click To Tweet

4. Take some time

If you're a Christian but still struggling with old temptations and desires, you're not alone. But before you write yourself off as hopeless, remember that Jesus is a doctor for the sick not for the righteous (Mark 2:17). Just like a broken leg can't heal without time and care from the Physician, our hearts can't be healed or transformed without time with and care from the Physician.

Jesus is a doctor for the sick not for the righteous Click To Tweet

The reality is that your party life likely won't catapult from a frat party to a faith party overnight. In other words, your desires may not shift right away.

It takes time for our desires to change…it takes time to grow closer to God and know His Word.

And time is exactly what I suggest taking. That doesn't mean ban yourself from going to all parties forever. It means taking a step back and allowing yourself to actually experience freedom from it.

Scripture tells us to be of sober mind (1 Peter 5:8-9). If you can't go to a party without making decisions with a sober mind, that be your answer–it probably not the best place for you to hang out and it's best to remove yourself and reset for a bit when it's a stumbling block for you–not to be uptight but to break it's hold on you.

If you do go to a party down the road, consider taking a friend that shares your belief with you that can serve as accountability. You won't feel so alone and you'll be more equipped to stand out instead of just going with the crowd. And you'll have a clearer vision of what you're truly celebrating.

When you allow yourself to step back and remove the shackles that the party culture tries to put on you, you will begin to have opportunities to share your faith, meet people where they are, and offer them hope and encouragement…which is much more fulfilling than filling up on empty calories.

 

To wrap up: this isn't about being legalistic or an uptight monster, it's about honoring God and looking a little deeper to understand your own heart and motives.

I'm not telling you what to do, I'm simply saying that you should consider what's a stumbling block for you. I'm daring you to consider what you're really celebrating and seeking life from.

This isn't about being boring but about having the courage to recognize when you're letting partying have a hold on your heart instead of letting God hold your heart.

So whether you've been trying to be the perfect girl  or a party girl, regardless of how many shambly nights you had or haven't had, you need to know something: this isn't about what you've done or haven't done, but about what Jesus did. It's not about legalism or hypocrisy. It's about true freedom. And your salvation doesn't flex according to your behavior failures or victories. Your salvation happens in a moment–the moment you choose Jesus. Growing into the person God made you to be is a life long process. When you fall down, you're not helpless or hopeless. God doesn't give up on you. He picks you up and dares you to reset and keep going with Him.

So the truth of the matter is that you were not made to be labeled a party girl or a perfect girl. That's not what defines you. Jesus does.

You were not made to be labeled a party girl or a perfect girl. Click To Tweet

And when you choose Him, there's a seat with your name on it at the greatest party this world will ever see (Matthew 8:11). There's a God that has so much more life than a party will ever offer. That's what have to live for. That's what you have to celebrate.

So, it's okay to walk away from parties. It's better to trust God than to be popular. You can live for something better, something more.

Some people may not like it or understand it but just because God sends us into the world, doesn't mean we are made to be of the world. You know a different kind of party now — one that celebrates life and Jesus. When you no longer live for people or for partying like the world, you're going to have a party in your heart that never ends because you'll be free–totally and completely whole and free.

They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. John 17:16

 

 

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Jordan Lee

Author: Jordan Lee

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31 thoughts on “What to Do if You Like to Party But Love Jesus

  1. I love this so much. Oh my gosh, it’s like you knew right where my heart has been this whole year. I just graduated high school and I love Jesus like crazy and I got my church friends but I also got my school friends and through them I’ve been falling into the party scene. I’ve wrestled with it so much and I feel like I haven’t gotten good advice from anyone, Christian or non-Christian, but thank you SO MUCH for writing this article and being so open and honest. I can’t tell you how much it’s helped me. I’m sitting here about to cry because someone finally truly understands what I’ve been going through and wrestling with. Thank you for just being amazing. I seriously admire your work so much, I follow Soul Scripts and I get so excited every time you post something! Praise God for you. 🙂

    Posted on June 30, 2017 at 9:39 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      I’m so so glad it encouraged you to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus! It can definitely be challenging when we are surrounded by the world but it can be done! Keep surrounding yourself with other believers and strong friendships that build you up instead of bring you down!

      Posted on July 15, 2017 at 9:04 am
  2. About to embark on this crazy journey called college. Everyone always tells me, “Partying is just what college is about.” So thank you so much for reassuring me and for reassuring my heart. The party in my heart is so much stronger and more fun than any other party there could be.

    Posted on July 1, 2017 at 4:30 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      Yes girl! College isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! Stay strong and enjoy your next four years! Xo

      Posted on July 2, 2017 at 9:40 am
  3. Girl!! Yes. I’m getting to this point where I’m so over that party scene and it’s crazy. People will call me an “old lady” and sometimes I even call myself that, but just because I’m over all of that doesn’t mean I’m any less/more boring of a person.

    Posted on July 1, 2017 at 10:23 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      I hear ya girlfriend! Thanks for reading!

      Posted on July 2, 2017 at 9:39 am
    2. I love your heart! This is the realist thing I’ve heard on this issue. Thank you for your words!

      Posted on July 2, 2017 at 5:59 pm
      1. Jordan Lee

        Thanks, Brooke! Glad you enjoyed it!

        Posted on July 15, 2017 at 9:02 am
  4. I needed this. Thank you ❤️

    Gigi
    Fash-ology.com

    Posted on July 2, 2017 at 8:25 am
    1. Jordan Lee

      Thanks for reading ❤️

      Posted on July 2, 2017 at 1:36 pm
  5. Thank you for sharing. I lived this life. A battle between partying and living for my faith. Looking back, I was only using Jesus to save me from the mess I made when partying. It’s been over 10 years since I live that life. Every drunken decision I made led to regret and shame. At the time I didn’t know there was a better ways. Jesus did get hold of my heart, and I put away this way of life. It wasn’t until I was at a bachelorette party in Vegas that I realized this part of me was stuffed deep down. I’ve been afaid of this part of my past, and never brought it to the light, but in shame stuffed it down. God revealed I need to say no to all alcohol for a season because it does try to take the throne. This article is so helpful and brings to light other things I hadn’t considered in this new season of substaining for alcohol. I feel weak over the fact I’m not drinking at all, and feel like I’ll be judged, even by Christians as being weak, but in my weakness he is strong. I see what my weakness can bring, and don’t want to miss out on what God has for me because I choose to disobey the good things he’s calling me into. Thanks again for sharing. I needed this word.

    Posted on July 2, 2017 at 11:01 am
    1. Jordan Lee

      Hi Jena! I’m so encouraged to know it touched you. You are not weak for making a change or abstaining–you are strong because it’s a very humbling yet brave thing to recognize our weak points! Praying for continued strength in your heart!

      Posted on July 2, 2017 at 1:36 pm
  6. Hey girl! Wow I just started following your blog and all I can say is thank you for what you do and all of your words of wisdom!! This post really hit home because personally I will be an incoming freshman in college, and being completely honest with you this topic has truly hit my heart. Your insight and transparency has opened up a new lense to look at this subject, and it has ultimately allowed me to kind of grapple this conflicting idea. Thank you for sharing your ideas and being real with the world. God bless ❤️

    Posted on July 2, 2017 at 6:42 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      Hi Elaina!

      That’s wonderful! Hold this close as you step onto campus, college can definitely be a tough place to stay focused on what matters most. I suggest getting plugged into a group of believers through a campus ministry or youth group right away. You’ll make plenty of friends that aren’t Christians so it’s important to have some other believers to turn to during this big transition and tempting time. Praying for you! Xo

      Posted on July 15, 2017 at 9:06 am
  7. Hey Girl! Wow all I can say is thank you so much for all that you do and for sharing your wonderful words of wisdom! This subject really hit home because I will be an incoming freshman in college, and this conflicting topic has truly been on my heart. However, your insight and transparency has provided a new lens to look at this topic with, and it reassured in me a better understanding of myself and the plans God has for us. Thanks for being real with the world and sharing this amazing and piece! God bless!!

    Posted on July 2, 2017 at 6:52 pm
  8. Hi Jordan
    Thank you for an excellent article. I want to ask permission to use it in our next issue of That’s My Girl magazine. It is the only Christian magazine for girls in South Africa and are given out mostly for free at girls’ conferences. I will give you credit and refer the girls to your blog.

    Posted on July 4, 2017 at 3:29 am
    1. Jordan Lee

      Go for it! Thanks for asking and for sharing!

      Posted on July 15, 2017 at 9:00 am
  9. I love this! This is something my friends never understood and it made me feel really bad about myself but this post says it all! We are definitely not perfect in any way, shape, or form and we shouldn’t be judged on that! Thank you! This cleared up so many things I was trying my best to explain!

    Posted on July 4, 2017 at 10:33 am
    1. Jordan Lee

      So glad to know it met you where you are and spoke to your heart! Praying you can use it to minister to your friends 🙂
      Xo

      Posted on July 15, 2017 at 9:08 am
  10. This spoke to me so much! I have been feeling hopeless in myself because of my desires, and this article spoke straight to my heart! And I have felt for so long that I was the only one who constantly feels this way and struggles with this.

    Posted on July 9, 2017 at 12:44 pm
    1. Jordan Lee

      Oh girl! I’m so glad!!

      Posted on July 15, 2017 at 9:07 am
  11. Definitely needed to read this! Have been struggling with this for quite some time and I’m sure I will continue too, but reading this has definitely opened my eyes to a new way of looking at these twisted desires and how to deal with them differently. Such a great read! Thank you SO much!

    Posted on July 13, 2017 at 10:54 am
    1. Jordan Lee

      Sara, I’m SO glad this article reached you and encouraged you! It’s a tough issue to tackle but with some Truth, grace, and honesty, it really can be done!

      Thanks for reading!

      Posted on July 15, 2017 at 9:07 am
  12. Thank you incredibly for this! I struggle very much so with this topic and reading your words gave me relief. Thank you for teaching me to look deeper into why, and methods to stay strong. This article did more for me than you can understand❤️ Thanks again

    Posted on July 15, 2017 at 8:45 am
    1. Jordan Lee

      I’m so glad to know this spoke to you! Praying you continue to find strength! Xo

      Posted on July 15, 2017 at 9:00 am
  13. Thank you so much for this! As an incoming freshman going to a non-christian college it seems almost impossible but thank you for the wise words and encouragement to tell me and reassure me that I can do it!! I love you and your blog so much, thank you again!!

    Posted on July 24, 2017 at 11:50 am
  14. So thankful for the boldness God has given you to speak truth in love!!! This is a topic that no one talks about so to see my struggle and the struggle of girls like me so clearly written and addressed is BEAUTIFUL. Also, I read another post that mentioned you were in a sorority too and I was wondering which one? You have already encluntered so many of the same issues/temptations I’m experiencing/have already experienced as a rising senior so I’m thankful to read your blog!

    Posted on July 28, 2017 at 1:01 pm
  15. Thank you so much for sharing this. Before college I was trying to fit the label of the “perfect girl,” but now I am struggling with the temptation of fitting in with the “party girls.” Your words are so encouraging, and exactly what I needed to read before the semester starts again! You have described perfectly the battle that has been happening in my heart. I just discovered you and Soul Scripts today through something a friend shared on Facebook, and I feel that this is exactly what God wanted me to read today!

    Posted on July 31, 2017 at 3:45 pm
  16. I’m so glad I flipped through my Insta Stories today! I have been struggling with how “partying” may be affecting my getting closer to God. I finally found a church that I LOVE back in June, have barely missed a Sunday (because of pure enjoyment), and try to be involved in as many things there as possible. I want to know God, discover His purpose for me, and live a life that glorifies Him. I, also, like to party with my friends. The next morning I suffer more from a guilt hangover than an alcohol induced one. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I always feel so bad the next day until I read this blog post. I’m playing tug-o-war with my partying and my desire to grow in my Faith. This has helped me to reflect tremendously! Thank you for bringing this post back to light for those of us who missed it.

    Posted on October 14, 2017 at 11:42 am
  17. Thank you for writing this, it has helped me in understanding and putting things into perspective more. I’m in grade 12 right now, and I am not a party girl. Although my best friend and other peers that surround me are into weed, drinking, and partying. Thus far, I have been able to resist those temptations and I have never tried anything to put me in a state of not being sober, because I know God doesn’t want me too. But I struggle a lot, and have many mental conflicts about things. I always just think about the fact that I only have one life, and I really just want to be able to experience everything in it, which I recognize is my main motive for wanting to do this kinda stuff (amongst some other things you covered in your blog). Being left out (which I regularily experience) is something I can handle, but as a person who likes to try new things to have as many great experiences as possible (good or bad), I just want to know what it feels like to be drunk, or high, and to just have fun. I know there are other ways God has given us to have fun, but can’t fun just be fun? Why is he so against us drinking and drugs. I’m a responsible girl, I would be able to handle it, and limit myself to what I know is safe. I would take precautions. Even though some people aren’t responsible, doesn’t it really just depend on the person? Even so, thank you for writing this, again, because there is a lot in it that’s sooo relatable and I haven’t been able to truly find advice like this. I hope what I have written kinda makes sense cuz my head is literally bursting with soo many thoughts which this comment probably doesn’t cover in its entirety. I also havent been to church since I was maybe in middle school or even earlier, so I really dont have any christian friends who share my same values, which makes things harder. The one christian girl my age I do know actually does drinking, drugs and things which she believes its totally fine, and kind of influences me in some way. These thoughts scare me a lot, because like you said at the beginning of the blog, I feel that nag of guilt and me stepping further away from God. If Im being honest, I struggle with my belief system altogether sometimes. What if he actually isn’t real and all of this relentless avoidance of partying ends up being for nothing? I hope this isn’t offensive, I’m really just pouring all my struggles out right now, in hopes of gaining even more of your advice and evident wisdom, because I don’t feel as though I have anyone to turn too. Maybe my family, but I don’t want them to make me feel as though I am being judged, and I’m afraid these thoughts may just disappoint them. I’m so sorry, I feel very dramatic right now, I’m usually not one to say things like this, but these thoughts have kind of been building up. Again, thank you for this very relatable blog.

    Posted on October 30, 2017 at 12:40 am