Do You Struggle with Chronic Comparison? Here's How to Be Yourself!

In elementary school, I shopped at Limited Too (anyone else?!) simply because that’s where all my friends shopped.

In high school, Hollister and low rise jeans were in. So, you can probably guess what was in my closet.

Before my junior year of college, I spent half of my summer earnings on new clothes because I literally tried to copy my big sister’s style.

A little later, I tried to mimic my roommates style because I didn’t know my own.

I’m not sure they know that yet. Oops.

Oh well, cat’s out of the bag now.

Why does this matter? Because this tendency of mine ran much deeper than clothes.

For so long, I made so many decisions on the basis of blending in because I was horrified of standing out. Instead of becoming an example, I just wanted to mimic others examples. I wanted her job, her major, her style, her life. And the list goes on.

I WAS A CHRONIC COPYCAT because I was deeply unsatisfied with me–who I was, how I looked, etc.–compared to other girls.

I was a chronic copycat because I was a chronic comparer. And I got stuck in comparison because I didn’t take time to discover who God made me to be because I was afraid of what I’d find.

I got stuck in comparison because I didn't take time to discover who God made me to be because I was afraid of what I'd find. Click To Tweet

But then I realized that following the One who leaves the 99 for one–for me–meant I couldn’t follow anyone else but Him. I couldn’t follow the crowd and find the me I wanted to be. I couldn’t follow the celebrities I looked up to and find any deeper sense of satisfaction. I could only follow the One who dreamed me up before the beginning of time and knit me together with His very own hands to live the life of joy, purpose, and significance I was meant to live.

And when we follow Him, we can’t be anyone else but the one He died to save.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

Did you know that in the ESV Bible footnotes, “wonderfully made” translates to “set apart”? This means that this verse doesn’t just say we are pretty or perfectly imperfect or created by God. While it certainly means those things, it also means that we are fearfully set apart! Fearfully unique, wonderfully appointed to walk in His unique calling on our life.

We are set apart from the world so following and/or comparing ourselves to the world around us is 100% wasted energy.

We are fearfully set apart! Fearfully unique, wonderfully appointed to walk in His unique calling on our life. We are set apart from the world so following and/or comparing ourselves to the world around us is wasted energy.

We are fearfully set apart! Fearfully unique, wonderfully appointed to walk in His unique calling on our life. Click To Tweet

This reality changed everything for me.

That’s when my closet exploded with colors and patterns. That’s when I stepped boldly into the call on my life even though it totally freaked me out. That’s when I saw the new me, the beloved me, the uniquely designed and wildly purposed me.

That’s when I wanted to live my calling instead of following the crowd.

Live your calling instead of following the crowd. Click To Tweet

Because here’s the truth: you cannot find or live your purpose when you’re so busy trying to make it look like her purpose. We cannot find out who we really are if all we do is follow the crowd. Because the crowd will lead us astray. Following Him will lead us home–back to the hands of the One who created and crafted our fibers, our desires, and our abundant heart. Because trends always change. Papa God never does.

You cannot find or live your purpose when you're so busy trying to make it look like her purpose. Click To Tweet

So, don’t be afraid to be different from the world around you. Don’t be afraid to rise.

Because there’s nothing better than pouring your own unique blend of light, life, and color into a world that’s drained of it.

Because there's nothing better than pouring your own unique blend of light, life, and color into a world that's drained of it. Click To Tweet

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Jordan Lee

Author: Jordan Lee

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3 thoughts on “Are You a Chronic Comparer?

  1. This is so helpful! I never thought I could amount to anything so I always wanted what others had andive always compared my self to other. Even when people tell me good things about myself, it’s really hard to believe it. A few months ago I just decided I needed to find my own identity in God and that he was who defined me, not the world or a relationship or those I compared myself to. Two months later I met this amazing man who I never thought I would find. Until I found my worth in God not of the world or anything else I couldn’t grow. Of course this is dating thing is totally new to me but it just feels so right. I pray constantly because I thought oh I’m going to get hurt because he’s not going to like the real me, but he just keeps saying I’m worth it. One day we were talking and I started trying to ruin it in a way, trying to tell him he should just get out now while he can so all my health issues and my craziness don’t bother him but I felt God stirring in me saying “why are you doing this, I gave him to you ?” He once again told me I was worth it! So now I believe what God tells me and what this and this wonderful man of God tells me! I still struggle with confidence but I’m starting to see myself the way God sees me slowly, it’s so hard for me to see what He sees and what others tell me about me. God is helping me with it all though and I will get through it with prayer and reading from His word! The most important thing I found is just to find your identity, who God wants YOU to be is more important than anything and if you are not feeling like yourself stop and pray!

    Posted on December 20, 2017 at 10:44 am
  2. Thank you for sharing this honest story, it’s so relatable.. It’s easyer to compare yourself to others than seeing Jesus Christ and how He has left the 99 to seek the one who is and feels lost.

    Posted on December 21, 2017 at 3:31 pm
  3. this truly inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and be truly who i am without looking to be like others to impress people. i have really struggled with trying to figure out who i am in christ and where i fit in as, but what i realized reading this is that i dont need to fit in with a certain crowd, cause i was born to serve Jesus as i am. so thank you for that Jordan! everyone constantly asks me about my brokenness sweatshirt and it makes me feel so honored to get to display Jesus to others. my teacher in class even asked me what it meant, and there one i shared with my whole class what it meant. Thank you for doing what you do, its impacted me beyond reason.

    Braylen Moreno

    Posted on January 25, 2018 at 11:49 am