5 Ways to Know If You Have Healthy or Toxic Friendships

5 Ways to Know if a Friendship is Healthy or Toxic:

1. A healthy friend supports your successes even when they don't feel successful. A toxic friend makes you feel guilty for the good God is doing in your life.

2. A life-giving friend knows real love can mean hard love. They tell you the stuff that's hard to hear when it's in your best interest. A toxic friend says all the right things without loving you enough to tell you the truth.

3. A good friend brings something to the table. A toxic friend is a mooch.

4. A life-giving friend celebrates the fact that you have other friends in your life. A toxic friend is possessive and jealous

5. A toxic friend influences you to do things against your better judgment. A life-giving friend is a light in your life and stands by you when you choose what's right even when it's not popular.

Proverbs 17:17 says that a friend loves at all times–when it's uncomfortable, when they don't see the same success in their life, when you're at rock bottom, and every moment in between.

If your friends leave you feeling deceived, like you have to be someone you're not, fit in, criticize your joy to make them feel better about themselves, or leads you further away from God's heart instead of closer to it, slowly distance yourself from the friendship. You don't have to cut them out of your life all at once but you don't have to keep giving them all your time.

Cutting off toxic friendships isn't about exiling people from your life but you can be intentional about who you spend your time with.

Why? Because you become like those you spend your time with. You can either choose bad influences or good influences. And sometimes good influences take time to find but they are worth the wait.

1 Corinthians 15:33 offers more wisdom on this, “Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.”

I truly believe a little loneliness is better than a friendship that sucks the life out of you.

I truly believe a little loneliness is better than a friendship that sucks the life out of you. Click To Tweet

That doesn't mean you shouldn't be kind or that you shouldn't show patience and forgiveness toward those who don't treat you will. But you can be wise about where you invest your time, energy, and heart.

Remember: there's a difference between acquaintances and friends. When you remove yourself from toxic circles, you can still be friendly, you can still treat them with kindness, and even catch up every now and then. But they certainly don't need to be your go to.

When you declutter your spending less time with those who don't love you well, don't' influence you for the better, and/or tear you down, you make room for something better.

When you make room in your life, God will give you the life-giving friendships your soul needs. And when He does, hold em close but give them room to live, too.

When you make room in your life, God will give you the life-giving friendships your soul needs. And when He does, hold em close but give them room to live, too. Click To Tweet

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Jordan Lee

Author: Jordan Lee

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4 thoughts on “5 Ways to Know If Your Friendships are Healthy or Toxic

  1. So true! I am so thankful for the friendships God has given me!

    Posted on March 20, 2018 at 5:12 pm
  2. Thank you for this! I have a struggle right now in handling my relationships with my friends .

    Posted on March 28, 2018 at 11:29 pm
  3. This is such a good post! It’s so important to know the friends who are healthy vs the ones who are toxic. We do need to be intentional about who we hang out with. Thanks so much for writing this!

    Posted on April 19, 2018 at 4:51 pm
  4. After reading this and verifying that I need to make a change with one of my best girlfriends, how do I talk to her about it? The thing is she is supportive of me and we have been through thick and thin. We have the same interests and we support each other like none other, but the past year I have noticed how negative and pessimistic she can be. She is an atheist and I am a Christian and I have really noticed this past year that it affects our friendship. There are times I want to speak up and shout the good news of the Lord and give her hope and perspective, but because of past instances I am very timid and fearful to do so. I don’t know the right words to say. I feel like if I even spoke with gentleness and kindness, with love, she would STILL take it so hard because she takes so many things hard. Small things upset her. (half the problem) How am I supposed to drop what I feel is a big thing on her? PLUS, I know that I spoke the truth and said our differences in faith play a big role that she would take that and twist it and spread that around. I just feel she would definitely take it as an attack and “another one of those things Christians do to alienate society and make people feel unwelcome and never good enough” I don’t want to throw 7 years of friendship away. But I also know our differences in faith and her negativity are weighing me down. I want to be her friend. I do. I am afraid to speak up! fear of losing our friendship and fear of it making her turn her back on the Lord even more. Help a sista out!

    Posted on May 15, 2018 at 4:13 pm