I want to be really real about the whole purity thing because I think it gets really prettied up and sugar coated and that's great and all but it's not helping anyone.
I know that there are sisters out there who feel like dirt when they think about their sexual past (or present, whatever). I also know that there are other sisters out there about to settle for the Netflix n chill guy simply because they're sick of feeling lonely. There's probably some of you married, just really not feeling your sex life, and tempted with other things. And I for sure know that there's other sisters who just really over waiting until marriage. So wherever you are on the virgin scale, I have something to say.
You're not alone in your struggles. And your desires and temptations are not weird. Your shame isn't something to hide and your worth isn't something to toy with or compromise just because you're lonely or emotional.Your shame isn't something to hide and your worth isn't something to toy with. Click To Tweet
And I also want to be real in saying that no one has totally figured out. I'm honestly convinced it's a miracle my husband and I made it through a 14 month engagement! Only by the grace of God.
Okay maybe that was too real but I know you don't need another person pretending they're purer or holier than you.
The reality is that purity isn't just a physical thing. It's not so much about your track record as it is about the state and desire of your heart. In that regard, we're all guilty. We all have impurities that tend to clutter up our hearts…impure thoughts, impure motives, impure desires, etc.
But I think we also need to take this more seriously because it's a serious thing.
So I don't know what the specifics are of your struggle. But I do know that you are a daughter worth dating. I think we need to DATE–really date. We need to have fun and make memories worth remembering.
If you're not sure where to start or what to do, here's 25 of our favorite dates:
1. Try a new recipe from scratch, make a fort, and pretend you're in a restaurant.
2. Make homemade popcorn and try lots of different seasonings on it
3. Find a hole in the wall restaurant in your town and order the most exotic thing on the menu
4. Play catch or frisbee at the park
5. Google a town you've not been to within a couple hours, have lunch, then turn around and come home. Don't forget to karaoke the whole ride!
6. Go fishing
7. Volunteer at your local food pantry
8. Try a cooking class – then eat all of it!
9. Pack up a basket and have a picnic
10. Put on a nice dress and your dancing shoes. Go country line dancing at a local dance bar.
11. Find a quaint breakfast place and have brunch together.
12. Double date to a drive in movie
13. Go to a concert and take snap videos of you two rocking out (no shame!). OR go to a sporting event and make fake bets on the game with popcorn or peanuts. Loser buys dinner!
14. Go hiking — but wear the silliest outfits each of you can find!
15. Have a campfire
16. Build something together. One year we found some old pallet wood, dug up some nails and sandpaper and made a really neat coffee table! It'll go in our first house together!
17. Paint together
18. Go to the shooting range (he will love you for this)
19. Find an old fashion diner near you, throw some tunes on the radio, and GO.
20. Go to Walmart, pick up some water balloons, fill them up, and then have a water balloon fight.
21. Go Putt putting or hit some golf balls at the driving range. Make a a competition. Furthest ball wins. Loser buys milkshakes.
22. Call up some friends, make some coffee and cookies, and play apples to apples
23. Go for a tractor ride or four wheel around an open field
24. Try a different cuisine. Our favorite was Thai!
25. Go to a carnival and ride the biggest ride (we recently did this and Matt almost lost his lunch but it was worth it)
Lastly, don't be afraid to ditch the dude who won't date you.
Because although you're not alone in your shame and you're not alone in your struggle but you are worth more than Netflix n' chillin. You're worth waiting for and dating more.
So encourage each other. Let's hold out together. You are totally worth waiting for.
Thank you to my sweet friend Kelsey Brown for snapping these photos!