I want to be really real about the whole purity thing because I think it gets really prettied up and sugar coated and that’s great and all but it’s not helping anyone. Because I know there’s sisters out there who feel like dirt when they think about their sexual past (or present, whatever). I also know there’s other sisters out there about to settle for the Netflix n chill guy because you’re lonely. There’s probably some of you married, just really not feeling your sex life, and tempted with other things. And I for sure know that there’s other sisters, like me, who just really flippin’ over waiting til marriage. So wherever you are on the virgin scale, I have something to say.
You’re not alone in your struggles. And your desires and temptations are not weird. Your shame isn’t something to hide and your worth isn’t something to toy with or compromise just because you’re lonely, emotional, or hormonal.
And I also want to be real in saying that i don’t have it totally figured out. Don’t think for one second we haven’t been tempted or struggled in this area. Actually I’m convinced it’s a miracle we’ve made it this long because we’re both just really over it (35 days til the wedding! woot woot!). Okay maybe that was too real but I know you don’t need another person pretending they’re purer or holier than you. Because purity isn’t just a physical thing but also a state of the heart. In that regard, we’re all guilty. But I think we also need to take this more seriously because it’s a serious thing.
So I don’t know what the specifics are of your struggle. But I do know that you are a daughter worth dating. I think we need to DATE. Really date. Have fun. Make memories. If you’re not sure where to start or what to do, here’s 25 of our favorite dates:
1. Try a new recipe from scratch, make a fort, and pretend you’re in a restaurant.
2. Make homemade popcorn and try lots of different seasonings on it
3. Find a hole in the wall restaurant in your town and order the most exotic thing on the menu
4. Play catch or frisbee at the park
5. Google a town you’ve not been to within a couple hours, have lunch, then turn around and come home. Don’t forget to karaoke the whole ride!
6. Go fishing
7. Volunteer at your local food pantry
8. Try a cooking class – then eat all of it!
9. Pack up a basket and have a picnic
10. Put on a nice dress and your dancing shoes. Go country line dancing at a local dance bar.
11. Find a quaint breakfast place and have brunch together.
12. Double date to a drive in movie
13. Go to a concert and take snap videos of you two rocking out (no shame!). OR go to a sporting event and make fake bets on the game with popcorn or peanuts. Loser buys dinner!
14. Go hiking — but wear the silliest outfits each of you can find!
15. Have a campfire
16. Build something together. One year we found some old pallet wood, dug up some nails and sandpaper and made a really neat coffee table! It’ll go in our first house together!
17. Paint together
18. Go to the shooting range (he will love you for this)
19. Find an old fashion diner near you, throw some tunes on the radio, and GO.
20. Go to Walmart, pick up some water balloons, fill them up, and then have a water balloon fight.
21. Go Putt putting or hit some golf balls at the driving range. Make a a competition. Furthest ball wins. Loser buys milkshakes.
22. Call up some friends, make some coffee and cookies, and play apples to apples
23. Go for a tractor ride or four wheel around an open field
24. Try a different cuisine. Our favorite was Thai!
25. Go to a carnival and ride the biggest ride (we recently did this and Matt almost lost his lunch but it was worth it)
Lastly, don’t be afraid to ditch the dude who won’t date you.
Because although you’re not alone in your shame and you’re not alone in your struggle but you are worth more than Netflix n’ chillin. You’re worth waiting for and dating more. Just sayin’.
So let’s encourage each other. Let’s hold out together. We are totally worth it.
Thank you to my sweet friend Kelsey Snyder for snapping these photos!