7 In College/ Friendship/ Relationships

For the Girls Without a Group or Clique

One time I called my mom in tears as I blurted out these words: “I’M LIKE A GALLON OF MILK WITH AN EXPIRATION DATE!”

After a sweet chuckle on the other line and a few minutes of sobbing, I was able to explain my discouragement with friendships.

I felt like as soon as I’d get close to a friend, we’d grow apart. Or she’d find other, cooler, more fun friends and suddenly vibes were weird and I couldn’t figure out if something was wrong with me or if I did something to screw up another friendship. I’d look online and see pictures of cliques and feel even more isolated.

I’d go to parties, beebop to the music and watch groups of girls take selfies. Or I’d be asked to take a picture of them only to see it on Facebook the next day WITHOUT a photo cred.

Ugh. Rude, right?

Okay, I’m being dramatic now, but I have a point.

There have been times in my life that I’d try to bend and contort myself in whatever way just to fit into a group. And it never really seemed to work.

So if you are struggling to feel like you belong or if you’re having trouble with female friendships, I just want to remind you that God didn’t design you the way He did just for you to bend and contort His design to fit into some group or clique it wasn’t designed to be a part of. And you’re not weird or strange and there’s nothing wrong with you if you grow apart from women you care about for awhile.

Because you know what? All things are redeemable. And at the end of the day, He delivers who you need, right when you need them, to stand by your side. Some of the girls I thought I’d grown apart from years ago were the same girls that threw on a blush dress and served me wholeheartedly on my wedding day. And often, those aren’t friendships you can fake. They’re disorganized and crazy and a little bit messy — but they’re real. And they take time to build.

So keep on keepin’ on. Because the moment you realize that God has given you the greatest Friend in His Son, you’ll see that you’re NOT a gallon of milk, but a gal loved by the Messiah. And you’ll find that no good thing ever really does expire.


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  • Reply
    January 6, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    Thank you for this post! These past couple of years I have lost some great friendships and felt embarrassed and lonely knowing my friend group is smaller. It’s good to hear I’m not alone and that it is possible to redeem friendships,

    • Jordan Lee
      Jordan Lee
      March 8, 2017 at 2:57 am

      Quality over quantity, girl 😉

      You are not alone!! Xoxo

  • Reply
    Melissa Burch
    February 7, 2017 at 10:50 pm

    Absolutely perfectly said. I just happened to be browsing the site and came across this a d it is exactly what I needed. Thank you so much for always knowing exactly how to word what a lot of us can’t.

    • Jordan Lee
      Jordan Lee
      March 8, 2017 at 2:56 am

      I’m so glad God used this article to encourage you! thanks for reading! Xo

  • Reply
    February 20, 2017 at 12:37 am

    Thanks for this post. I still struggle with this from time to time. But as long as I continue to trust in God and not rely on my feelings(which is so easy to do). I will have contentment and peace. God knows exactly what’s best for me so that I can live out His mission, so He’ll put the right people in my life essential to growing to be more like Him and bless others. I’ve written a blog post about loneliness and isolation which still resonates when I’m discouraged. https://jenswalkwithgod.blogspot.com/2016/06/my-season-of-loneliness-and-isolation.html

    • Jordan Lee
      Jordan Lee
      March 8, 2017 at 2:57 am


      What a beautiful post! Our feelings tend to get in the way and that’s normal — but not always good. 🙂 so glad to hear how God is drawing you nearer to Him.


  • Reply
    Amery Robinson
    May 3, 2017 at 12:32 am

    Oh my goodness. I find myself coming back to this blog over and over because you actually put that feeling into words, a gallon of milk with an expiration date. College is tough and forming REAL friendships is hard!!! I love this blog and I think you’re awesome! 🙂

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